THEYRE STILL FRIENDS
These are cute.
IS THAT AN OTTER TEXTING A HEDGEHOG
The dino one is so cute
Yes that is Sherlock texting John
I hope the inside of my bag doesn’t reflect my personality because it’s very boring. Just a wallet, phone, chapstick.
what the fuck is this
offensive things to call people when they’re mean to you:
- crispy nipple
- the white stringy things in bananas
- tangled umbilical cord
- nash grier
- iceberg lettuce: world’s blandest green
- watery afro
- fountain water at school that never tastes right
- voldemort’s breathing holes
Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.
WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!
Well at least if I end up in hell I won’t have to live through cold and rainy winters
So I made a playlist of songs that I recommend you to listen to:
why do people look so shocked when food falls into your cleavage but you eat it anyway like “oh no this grape has been spoiled by my bosom better throw it away” fuck no i’m gonna eat that boobie grape
how many hospital visits do you think st. mungo’s gets from people using engorgio spells on their dick
i’m glad chris evans is a celebrity and not a regular person because i don’t know what i’d do if i saw him making me a latte at starbucks or cashing my check at the bank or teaching my english class
you know how in musicals the couple will start singing the same song no matter how far apart they are
what if that happened in real life
what if you were just at a restaurant one day and you started rANDOMLY SINGING because your soulmate decided to sing a duet in the shower
"yes, I would like the bacon and eggs breakfast speciAND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT, AND IT’S LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED."
so okay i work at a thrift store and we have this christmas display up and someone donated these “spinning poinsettias” and i guess no one checked the batteries and oh my god merry christmas everyone
rocking around the T H E F I E R Y P I T S O F H E L L
You will not be disappointed
we went on a field trip to the zoo last week